Self-Awareness: I Can Be Deluded About My Pride

There comes that tender stage in every young person’s life: their bodies begin producing certain oils and scents that make deodorant a daily necessity. But while the people closest to them are painfully aware of this new development, the young man or lady will commonly remain oblivious for a season. It may be a bit painful for the youngster to be pulled aside and introduced to Old Spice, but in the long run, it will be a blessing for all parties concerned. That’s not unlike what Solomon has to say to us about pride. Like body odor, we tend to be more proficient at detecting it on others than in ourselves. But the presence of ongoing pride in my life is offensive to both God and to the people around me. It really would be quite a blessing for someone like Solomon to pull me aside for an earnest conversation about it.

As I grow in self-awareness, I need to understand how deluded I can be about my pride (i.e., I still have a lot more of it than I recognize). Like C. S. Lewis said: “There is no fault which makes a man more unpopular, and no fault which we are more unconscious of in ourselves [than pride].” Godly wisdom will make my life strong, and wisdom begins when I humbly acknowledge my ongoing sin and need before God (19–20). On the other hand, if I think that I am constantly "hitting the mark," I will be a fool with a weakened walk. So Solomon here gives us a painful but productive lesson in two places where my pride remains.

My pride shows up when I am praised (21). There is nothing wrong with enjoying praise from others. It’s just so tempting to “take it to heart” and believe it! When people praise me for my public acts (like preaching a sermon, for instance), it can deceive me. I can think that I really am as great and godly as this person says. But Solomon reminds me that the person praising me is in that moment only getting the tiniest glimpse of the real me. They see “the public me”: clean, polite, on my best behavior. The Insta-filtered me. But others know the “private me." They see me out of the public eye, when I’m not trying so hard to look good. They have observed my attitudes and heard my words when my guard is down and things aren’t going my way. If we interviewed these people (i.e., your spouse, kids, parents, siblings), they could offer a different take than this person showering me with praise in person or on that Facebook post. That's what Solomon means when he warns us, “Don’t take it to heart lest you hear your servant cursing you.” I can still appreciate praise when I receive it, but I would be wise to remember also that they are not seeing the full picture of me. I can humbly acknowledge that any good that anyone ever sees in me is by God’s sheer grace. And then I can seek God's help in bringing that “private me” a little bit closer into line with that sparkling “public me.”

My pride also shows up when I am wronged. Imagine that you overhear someone trashing you behind your back (22). This is when we discover just how much pride and self-righteousness still clings to your heart! Why? Because you will probably not instinctively say, “Well, I can't be too hard on them. I’ve done the same thing myself plenty of times.” No, you will probably hit the roof! You will get huffy and wounded. You will clutch your pearls in outrage, as if you can’t imagine ever doing such a thing yourself. Here, Solomon provides another painful reality check. Yes, that guy was wrong for cursing you in secret. But what would happen if we rolled the tape on all your private conversations and careless remarks? “Your heart knows that many times you yourself have cursed others” (22). Why? Because on my best day, I’m just a sinner just like they are, with nothing to be proud about. God shows me mercy for these sins and more every moment of every day, so why can't I cut this guy a little slack? If I can't, there's probably a good bit more pride still clinging to me than I know. You might take it up with Jesus.

FOR THE NEXT INSTALLMENT, SEE:

Article by Eric Smith
Senior Pastor, Sharon Baptist Church